I didn’t grow up loving God—I grew up angry with Him. My parents divorced when I was four, and my first real prayer was that He would bring them back together. When that prayer wasn’t answered, bitterness took root deep in my heart. As I got older and saw more of the world’s pain and injustice, I convinced myself that God must not exist—or if He did, I didn’t like Him very much. Still, I couldn’t stop wrestling with Him. I prayed to a God I claimed not to believe in, demanding proof, demanding answers.
When my mom passed away during my teenage years, my world collapsed. Grief turned to rebellion. I numbed myself with anything I could—smoking, drinking, drugs—anything to not feel. I called it freedom, but it was really bondage. Inside, I was dying.
Then, one ordinary day, something extraordinary happened. I was driving down a back road, lost and high, when I played a CD someone had given me. It was Paul Baloche’s album. At first, I half-mocked it—until one song, “Shaken,” came on.
“Only a spotless Lamb for a sinner’s soul,
He gave me a heart of flesh for a heart of stone.
He brought me down to my knees when I was full of pride,
and took away all the places I could hide.”
Before the verse was over, I had to pull the car over. I began to weep—uncontrollably, deeply, for the first time in years. The lyrics cut straight through my defenses. Every word felt like it was written for me.
“Everything that can be will be shaken…
and only You remain.”
That line echoed in my soul. I knew in that moment that God was real, that He saw me, and that He loved me even in my rebellion. For the first time, I didn’t just feel conviction—I felt hope.
Not long after, during another dark night, I found myself holding a small cross my mom had given me, clinging to it as I cried out, “Lord, I’m going to seek You with all my heart. If You’re real, I’ll follow You.” And He met me there. He lifted me out of the pit and set my feet on solid ground.
That was the night Jesus became real to me—and the night He called me to be a pastor. I fought that calling for years, but His grace has been patient and persistent. He has proven again and again that He brings beauty out of ashes and purpose out of pain.
In the years since, God has blessed me with an incredible family and a fulfilling life. I’m married to my amazing wife, Joy, and together we’re raising three beautiful children who light up our world. We also own and operate a thriving painting business with multiple employees—a company built on integrity, excellence, and care.
Along the way, God opened the door for me to study His Word more deeply. I earned a Certificate in Theology from the International House of Prayer University, an opportunity that Paul Baloche himself helped provide for me financially—and one that this very church, CCF, sent me off to pursue more than a decade ago.
To stand here now, serving as a youth pastor at the same church that changed the trajectory of my life, is nothing short of full-circle grace. What began as a broken cry in the dark has become a life devoted to helping young people encounter the real Jesus—the one who meets us in our mess, lifts us from the pit, and never lets go.
My heart for junior high ministry is to create a space where students can wrestle honestly with their faith and discover that Jesus isn’t afraid of their questions. He’s right there in the middle of it all, ready to turn their stories—just like mine—into something beautiful.
Mike Packard