Heath Updates | April – Sept of 2024

Heath update: Sept 8, 2024

Heath update: Aug 31, 2024

The Good: We’ve had a ‘routine’ couple weeks of outpatient therapy sessions scattered in the week: 3 each PT & Speech and 2 OT sessions every week for now. Heath enjoys getting out of the house and so do I, so we don’t mind the driving back and forth throughout the week.  I REALLY like all the people working with Heath, and I’m so thankful I can attend alongside him to observe and learn! His participation level is great and I’ve seen little improvements in things since he’s been doing, so I’m really encouraged by all that they are working on with him.  The weather is cooling off a little here in Texas (meaning it’s not in the 90s at 7pm) 😉 which means we’ve been able to enjoy a couple evening walks at the park in town.  I look forward to this becoming more of a regular routine as we hit the fall season.

The Hard: Despite all the great things happening, I’m facing discouragement, disappointment, and even fear over the level of engagement that Heath displays at home…he’s just not ‘into’ continuing the recommended exercises or tasks at home, and sometimes is simply resistant to it. There seems to be a ‘separation’ in his understanding between what he does in outpatient and what he does at home. His therapists have said that, unfortunately, this is not unusual, but to keep setting aside some time every day because practice & repetition are key to maintaining and recovering function.

I’d appreciate prayers for me about how best to encourage Heath at home, and especially prayer for Heath to see that the things he’s learning to do in therapy are for home, too–for the fullest benefit! …Resolve, hope, perseverance, energy, & understanding 

Answered Prayer! 8/22/2024  Thank you for praying for Heath’s elbow.  Yesterday was a lot better and he was able to resume walking practice in PT and today he acted completely normal and it didn’t hinder him with his normal activities —pain free!  

Heath Update: 8/19/2024

 Prayer for Heath’s good (left) arm appreciated. He strained a muscle somewhere around his elbow on Friday which has made it difficult to do some of his walking exercises and other things like pulling off his shirt, and getting up out of bed himself.  We’ve been taking it a little easier over the weekend to give it some rest.  Pray for his healing, mobility and overall protection from injury.

“Zach leaving” update: 8/17/2024

Because some of you have asked me recently, I’ll share another quick update on Zach.  He leaves for Amsterdam 1 month from today! We are so proud of him and happy to launch him into a new chapter of his life. There are some financial needs he still has if anyone wants to help him out. Primarily, he still needs to have €130/month (~$143) to cover insurance requirements (total of ~$1300). Also, the ticket cost for his return flight to Amsterdam after Christmas ($1298) was double what he paid for the one he booked for September-Christmas break. Should you desire to help out in either of these ways, you can Venmo him at @zwstoner or PayPal me alisastoner@msn.com

In light of these things, I’m meditating on this thought from Katherine Wolf’s book, Treasures in the Dark

One step at a time. By God’s grace.

Update on Heath: Aug 11, 2024

Heath is now receiving PT, OT, and Speech several times a week!  Thank you for praying for us about this–I can already see how the Lord has answered our prayers about setting him up with the right people for this next ‘leg’ of the journey.

 

You can pray for his team as they work with him, encouraging and challenging him for the next couple months+: Michael (his OT), Stacy (speech therapist), and his PT team headed by Leah.  

 

Continue praying for Heath to have endurance, patience, and trust with all the repetitive work necessary to see neuroplastic changes in his body.  

 

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 And some personal thoughts from my heart—Thank you to those of you are praying for me as well, and for our children, and for those who have Facetimed or stopped by to visit or invited me (or both of us) into your life even though it’s so very different than it once was. It is.

 

‘Letting go’ is a painful, daily habit–letting go of expectations, letting go of life as it was, and of what I thought it would be, and simply taking the Lord’s hand into the future—for however long and to whatever outcome. My comfort in the midst is that I know Christ is with me in the tears, in the surrender, in the past and the present and the future.

 

I continually pray for eyes to see what Jesus sees. You can pray this for me, too. When I look with ‘Alisa eyes’ I see that it’s all wrong—Heath not walking around, not talking, not doing all the things he used to do in the roles that he was used to being in with the friends he was used to talking to, and all the things he wanted to do not being done…when I look with ‘Jesus eyes,’ I see his son, Heath, who he loves as much as ever in the middle of this brokenness. And he is pleased. We are his. That I can rest in His love for us, that I can sleep in this storm—that I can even wait patiently at all–this is his goodness. Only he can give this ‘rest’ to me. Do you know this kind of love in your own brokenness, trials, or tears, whatever they may be? I pray you do.

Quick update on Heath: July 29, 2024

Heath started PT last week it’s 3 times a week. I’m very pleased with what I see them do with Heath so far and the education they are offering me, too.  Still waiting to get OT and Speech scheduled after I had some referral changes/delays so  pray we hear back this week and can get those appointments on the calendar!

Thankful for the nice weather this weekend–a few of us went to the Caldwell Zoo Saturday, and we also ran into some friends while we were there, too! (Keith Johnson & Shannon Johnson & Beth Shaw Muse & Bob)  I love to see the joy in Heath’s smile when he sees a familiar face!  

One of the things that first drew me to Heath was the sincerity of his love for others and the appreciation he always showed to the mentors and leaders who invested in his life–and it’s obvious that much hasn’t changed. He might not be able to ‘say’ it right now, but every visit and connection is meaningful to him. If you ever want to Facetime us, stop over for a visit, share a memory, or send a picture our way, I know it will brighten his day .

Heath Update SAT 7/20/24. From Alisa.

We returned home safely on Thursday (after blowing out a tire on I-20). I’m so thankful for a wonderful visit in PA!! My parents had everything set up beautifully with a room downstairs and ramps to get in the house and onto the deck. We took trips into the Rothrock State Forest to enjoy the scenery (Heath caught site of a black bear by the road before it slipped away!) and we meandered through the Penn State Arboretum– the most abundant and lovely one I’ve ever been to! We also enjoyed strolls around the neighborhood and the Boalsburg Memorial Park, not to mention several trips to the Creamery for ice cream and a few of our favorite meals—Faccia Luna, Cozy Thai, and The Waffle Shop! So, all in all, our first vacation and our first flights post-stroke went very well– and we’ve learned a few things that work (and don’t) for future flights. Our next vacation will be to Heath’s family in Michigan in September—can’t wait!! 

Heath starts PT up again next week , and I’m hoping to hear about scheduling Speech and OT soon too. 

Prayer: 

That Heath will experience some recovery of movement in his lower arm & hand. This is what is most important to him—and it’s also what discourages or disrupts his mood the most, too.

Heath’s inner thoughts and spiritual drive. Because of the severity of his aphasia, it’s hard for me to tell exactly where his mindset is when it comes to the repetitiveness of therapy and his understanding of the “use it to improve it” motto of recovery.

I feel like if Heath truly realized what this recovery road required of him, that he would rise to the occasion with the same grit and determination with which he maximized and achieved in every other area of his life before the stroke. I’ve had to let that expectation of him go as he is in a different place—right now anyways. If ‘therapy’ is his life and work right now, then my life is to help him keep working. This is not the role I’d ever imagined to take in his life, but this is what he needs from me right now when he cannot access it for himself. Pray for both of us about this. 

“For it is God who works in you both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” Philippians 2:13

Many of you have wondered how the kids are doing.  It was a huge blessing that Zach was flown back within days of Heath’s stroke, because of the determined hearts and generosity of many of you on this thread.  He has been a tremendous blessing to the family since he arrived.  Here is an update from Alisa on Zach, and his next step.  

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Update on Zach Stoner!

As some of you will remember, Zach was in Egypt 🇪🇬 when Heath had a stroke in 2023.  Because of the generosity of so many friends, he was able to fly back to be with us for 3 weeks before returning to Egypt to finish his outreach as part of YWAM Amsterdam DTS. He finished that school & outreach and came home last June just before Heath & I went to Houston. 

Zach decided to spend this past year working with A2Z Services and serving our family. Many times while Heath was in-patient in Fort Worth, he would come and stay for several nights so I could get a reprieve or take care of things back at home. Zach’s continued to do that for me since Heath has come home, staying with Heath so I can attend a friends party, shower, or go to a Bible study, etc.  Heath needs someone around at all times for safety and Zach has joyfully been my go-to guy!! Not to mention all the ways he’s helped with things around the house and property. 

I’ve known this time was coming and now it is getting so close…in mid- September Zach will leave home to continue his studies, and we are so proud to announce that he is returning to Amsterdam for a nine month Bible school with YWAM.  We will miss him greatly!!

I wanted to honor him and share his letter with everyone. If you would like to contribute to his school, help him with any travel expenses, health insurance, etc, his Venmo is @zwstoner (or you can send to me and I’ll see that he gets it).  He’s not asking me to share this (and he’s never on Facebook!), but I wanted to honor him and give others a chance to support him if you’d like. ❤️

Heath Update, TUE 7/9/24. From Alisa.

Heath–He has had a ‘break’ from regular speech, OT, & PT outpatient sessions since June 20, so I am daily working with him on his home exercise routine and speech apps. His participation is usually good, and a few times he’s initiated some exercises on his own (which is new and a good thing!), but he’s been taking more frequent naps and seems to tire more easily, too. We are preparing to head out on our first VACATION as a family since his stroke, and after we return, he’ll start a new line-up of outpatient therapies in Tyler area. I think it will be good to get out of the house a bit more for a change of pace and environment. His frustration over his arm is more intense recently, and he ‘asks’ me about it multiple times a day—sometimes by the minute—and is rarely satisfied with my response. I’d appreciate your prayers over this.

Me—I am learning not to fret when Heath has an ‘off’ day or if we don’t get as much exercise time or repetitions in as I had hoped. I’ve been able to look back after a week or 2 and see that he has made progress in some areas, for which I am so grateful. Another thing I’m getting used to is being ok not knowing the answer to some of his frustrations and struggles—or my own–and to simply keep going in faith that it will work itself out or an answer will come in time if I need it.

We are both taking steps forward and sometimes backward in the things that we are learning/re-learning, but the trajectory is always pressing onward! “Don’t worry about tomorrow…each day has enough trouble of its own,” as Jesus said, so I’m getting lots of practice in staying in ‘today’ and letting ‘tomorrow’ be in His hands.

Prayers:
Safe traveling and that Heath would be able to set aside his frustration over his arm and enjoy vacation together!

Endurance. I know it is so difficult for Heath–the ‘dominant side’ of his body is not cooperating as it used to. Even his sense of touch and temperature is not near as strong on the whole right side of his body, face to foot. He can tap into some arm and leg muscles a little more consistently lately, but I know it’s tiring and tedious.
Pray that he would truly know his efforts are not pointless.
Pray that he would recognize improvements in himself and find continual grace and strength to keep pressing forward.
Pray that he’ll come to greater understanding and acceptance of the “use it to improve it” motto of therapy.

Heath Update WED 6/13/24, from Alisa. Update on Heath’s therapy…and a real glimpse into post-stroke recovery.

Heath has been continuing with therapy Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at Neurorestorative in Tyler since the beginning of May, and I try to keep him moving and practicing some language things on the ‘off’ days. He is a willing participant (most of the time) 😉, but I never feel like we’re doing enough as we should…

What is especially difficult for me is that Heath does not initiate exercising or strengthening his body independently, so I am responsible for everything that he does (or doesn’t do) …🙏🏼I ask that you please pray for me regarding this. Everyone who knows Heath knows that he was always the type of person who accomplished more in 1 hour than I (or most people) could do in 1 week! However, since the stroke, he has ‘apathy’ caused by damage in certain parts of his brain that affected the goal-directed part of him. 🙏🏼Pray that his mental focus and determination would increase, by God’s grace.

PHYSICAL THERAPY: Heath is currently learning to coordinate stepping up and down 1 step (in anticipation of visiting parent’s home this year!), and his progress is going well with this 🙂. He has been practicing walking each day at therapy and at home, too. He uses a hemi-walker or quad cane, and I stay close for safety since his balance is off and connections between the leg and brain are not all ‘online’ as before. He favors his stronger leg, so we have been trying to get him to bear weight through his right leg more often, but he is resistant to this. His brain tells him that it’s safer and better to use the stronger leg. 🙏🏼Please pray also for this—that he would realize that he will get stronger and more stable the more he ‘disobeys’ what his brain is telling him and–in trust & faith–puts weight through his weaker side. (What a lesson for all of us there, right!?!) This can improve over time, but will require lots of ‘re-wiring’ and repetition to do so.

🙏🏼 In addition to what I already mentioned, please pray for our next steps after he completes group outpatient at Neurorestorative at the end of next week (June 20). He will then move to one-on-one therapy sessions, but details have yet to be worked out as far as where he’ll do this and with who and for how long, etc. Please pray that we get the best guidance and favor and for a dynamic ‘match’ with his next therapists!

Friends, this is an incredibly long road we are on right now. Thank you for praying for us, continuing to read updates, and supporting us along the way. ❤ (Next time I’ll write an update on ‘Speech therapy’)

6/12/24, Wednesday. Update from Alisa.

Update on Heath’s therapy…and a real glimpse into post-stroke recovery.

Heath has been continuing with therapy Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays at Neurorestorative in Tyler since the beginning of May, and I try to keep him moving and practicing some language things on the ‘off’ days. He is a willing participant (most of the time) , but I never feel like we’re doing enough as we should…

What is especially difficult for me is that Heath does not initiate exercising or strengthening his body independently, so I am responsible for everything that he does (or doesn’t do) …  I ask that you please pray for me regarding this. Everyone who knows Heath knows that he was always the type of person who accomplished more in 1 hour than I (or most people) could do in 1 week! However, since the stroke, he has ‘apathy’ caused by damage in certain parts of his brain that affected the goal-directed part of him.  Pray that his mental focus and determination would increase, by God’s grace.

PHYSICAL THERAPY: Heath is currently learning to coordinate stepping up and down 1 step (in anticipation of visiting parent’s home this year!), and his progress is going well with this . He has been practicing walking each day at therapy and at home, too. He uses a hemi-walker or quad cane, and I stay close for safety since his balance is off and connections between the leg and brain are not all ‘online’ as before. He favors his stronger leg, so we have been trying to get him to bear weight through his right leg more often, but he is resistant to this. His brain tells him that it’s safer and better to use the stronger leg.  Please pray also for this—that he would realize that he will get stronger and more stable the more he ‘disobeys’ what his brain is telling him and–in trust & faith–puts weight through his weaker side. (What a lesson for all of us there, right!?!) This can improve over time, but will require lots of ‘re-wiring’ and repetition to do so.

 In addition to what I already mentioned, please pray for our next steps after he completes group outpatient at Neurorestorative at the end of next week (June 20). He will then move to one-on-one therapy sessions, but details have yet to be worked out as far as where he’ll do this and with who and for how long, etc. Please pray that we get the best guidance and favor and for a dynamic ‘match’ with his next therapists!

Friends, this is an incredibly long road we are on right now. Thank you for praying for us, continuing to read updates, and supporting us along the way. 

(Next time I’ll write an update on ‘Speech therapy’)

6/5/24, Wednesday. Update from Alisa.

A glimpse into our ‘new’ life at home the past month+

PART 1:

The word that comes to mind is ‘distilled’. I don’t know if that’s accurate but it’s the feeling I have. We are living in the very bones of life—eat, sleep, move, smile, laugh, hug, enjoy the people in our life and what the five senses take in, visit familiar spots, and look back at special memories and all the people Heath loves and remembers so well.

If someone would have told me what it would look like 13+ months post-stroke at the beginning of this journey, I would NOT have thought I could bear it. Yet here we are. We are not just surviving but continuing to make memories and laugh and have mostly good days. One thing I’m especially grateful for is that Heath is still my love. Though he is not the same, his love for me and others is unchanged. He notices if I’m tense or stressed and is sympathetic. He notices if I have a sore neck (that’s been my issue lately) and he reaches over to massage it with his one good hand. I remind him of words or funny jokes or situations or people from the past and he laughs. These are simple things, but life is simple right now. We’re to the bare-bones basics of life right now and our work is all about re-learning (everything!).

So, if you were to ask me, I would truthfully say that, Yes, Heath is good. We’re trying to stay connected to community, to video-call family on a regular basis, and to spend time in enjoyable activities each week like performances or dinner out or watching a movie as a family. These are bits of ‘normal’ amid what is such an other-worldy life we’re in right now.

Nothing is the same as it was. It’s a great loss that I’ve been slowly grieving over this year as we’ve been slowly growing into this new version of life as it comes each day. There is little of our former life together as a couple and as a family that is the same, little of the activities of Heath’s life that remain; and little left of the kinds of fellowship he’d enjoyed with friends near and far on a weekly/daily basis. All the 4-wheeling, clearing trails and working outside, walking in our woods, frisbee golf, ping pong matches, favorite games (too complicated for him currently), managing finances, dates with kids, posting on Facebook or twitter , texting friends, and all the event and adventure-planning Heath would do for us and for others–not to mention all the preaching and coaching and mentoring and sharpening conversations he’d have on a regular basis …ALL these things came to a screeching halt over a year ago. To look at all of that feels like a DEATH…but I know deep inside that there is a new LIFE being brought forth from the ashes of this stroke.

Only lots of time, hard work, and the unfolding of God’s grace and works will reveal what activities and roles will be taken up again. If I think of all of this too much, especially of the depth of friendships and communication that is gone right now– it hurts too bad. So I try not to think of it and instead do what Heath does—‘point forward’. This life ‘right now’ with the abilities Heath has ‘right now’ is what we’ve been given to steward ‘right now,’ and so we must be faithful to this life day by day as we long and wait for more to come. I think of the words of Paul, “Forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead…”

Prayer:

* Grace and strength and joy for every day.
* His frustration over his right side (especially his right lower arm & hand), that his physical and mental efforts will be multiplied, and that he’ll notice increases in movement/strength no matter how small and be encouraged to keep going.
* For the kids—They are good, but I know it is harder for all of them than what it may appear to others. They have a ‘new dad,’ if that makes sense. Although he is ‘there’ and loves them the same as ever, there are so many things that he is not able to be ‘there’ for them in the same way right now. Life has changed for them as it has for Heath. This is a special burden to my mom-heart.

5/20/24, Friday. Update from Alisa.

5/10/24, Friday. Update from Alisa.

5/8/24, Wednesday. Update from Alisa.

5/6/24, Monday. Update from Alisa.